Thursday, September 5, 2013

Fear of Growth

"Walker, there is no path, you make the path as you walk." ~ Antonio Machado

This blog post comes to you by "special request".  Is there such a thing as fear of growing? Or fear of success? I believe there is.  Maybe it's tied to our fears of whether we are worthy. Or maybe it's tied to our fears of whether we can handle the success and all that comes along with that. I was having this discussion with a friend just yesterday and it was suggested that perhaps this should be a topic I address in the blog. Coincidentally (or not), my morning devotional today addressed this topic! Or at least I interpreted it in such a way that it became relevant. One of my morning devotions comes from Mark Nepo's book The Book of Awakening.  This is the story he shared...
"I listened carefully as he described his little girl's first steps. He encouraged her to keep her eyes on him, and only when she didn't, did she stumble. Only when she lost her focus, when she became too conscious of the steps she was taking did she fall... He stared off, offering slowly, 'She made me realize that when I stop looking for a sense of truth, I stumble. When I lose my focus on what really matters, I fall." 
Here's the main idea. We are forever taking first steps...yes, forever taking first steps.

Nepo says:
"Isn't balance, in reality, the ability to step quite naturally, like this little girl, without too much thought into everything larger than our fear?"
I think that really says it all. When we put too much thought into something, and over-analyze it, fear takes over. Instead, it we could let go of the thinking and just stay focused on the truth, what really matters, growth will come naturally.

Mark Nepo always ends his devotions with a meditation exercise. He suggests that you sit and breath deeply and "without troubling yourself with 'how', step with your heart into the field of the growth you are seeking".

This is the part that made the most sense to me. Stop worrying about the "how" and just follow your heart! This may not be the blog about fear that was anticipated, but it was the message that was revealed to me today!

Love and Prayers,

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