To Blog or Not to Blog?

To blog or not to blog? That is the question. This post marks 60 consecutive days of blog entries. The goal was 63 days.

In my first blog post, Why 63 Days, I wrote about my intention for the blog.

"This journal will be my own 63-day walk to focus on faith, love, and time to discover what God will reveal to me as the next stage of my life. I invite you to join me on the adventure and discover your own "miracles" along the way!"

I posted a photo of the Tower of Terror at Atlantis Resort. I remember feeling like I was on that Tower of Terror when I hit the enter button to post the first of the 63-day posts. I thought to myself could I really make the commitment? would anyone care to read it? what if I can't think of something to write about every day?  I initially sent the link to a few close friends and invited them to follow. Then, gradually, I worked up the courage to post it for my Facebook friends, and then the Miracle of Belief Page, and eventually the Heart Heroes page. And then I started telling people I would meet about the blog and how they could find it.

I really have no idea how many people this blog is actually reaching.  I see that there are a lot of views each day. And I've received some wonderful emails from people saying things like "I look forward to reading your blog each day", "I feel like you are speaking to me directly", "Thank you, I needed to hear that".

The truth is that I have immensely enjoyed writing this blog, whether anyone is reading it or not! The words have flowed easily most days. And I have a long list of topics to write about! Maybe this collection of writing will eventually become my second book. I have also thought about whether the goal of the blog has been satisfied? I can say that it truly has been a "faith walk" for me. I read or listen to positive, uplifting books and devotionals daily. And I've implemented a daily habit of reading bible passages. I've also discovered that you can "google" bible passage topics which can be fun!

The biggest transformation for me in the last 61 days, has been about getting very clear about my goals and purpose and creating a plan for the next stage of my life...which feels like a lot of puzzle pieces coming together. I didn't accomplish every goal I set out to achieve, however, I feel I've made some amazing progress.

So, back to the question...to Blog or Not to Blog? Should I keep going? Can I do another 63-days consecutively? It's certainly a time commitment. It does require mental focus each day.  And then the real question...am I doing this for myself? or am I helping someone else in the process? Hmmm....maybe its both? Or maybe it doesn't matter if it's one but not the other. Either one would be enough.

"Remember: You are the only person on this planet with your story. What's the point of being here unless you share it, pass it on, and help somebody else?"~from the book Just Who Will You Be? by Maria Shriver

I'm going to make a personal request...If you are reading this blog, or if you've been reading over the past 60 days, will you take a moment to send me a personal message with any feedback? It can be as simple as "Yes, keep going." or "stop wasting your time"! Or you can share what you've gained or what your favorite post has been. Send the message to: sondradubas@cox.net. Or you can message me on Facebook as a friend or on the Miracle of Belief Page.

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Fabulously Conflicted

Many people ask me about how I made the transition from where I was in life as a corporate sales executive juggling family with a busy, hectic schedule and traveling on business frequently,  to having the life I have now. I'm home with my children, running a charity and a health & wellness business, and following my passion as a new author and motivational speaker. I will tell you that the transition has not been easy, but it has been so worth it!  

I ran across this old hand-written journal entry the other day. It's a beautiful journal that a friend gave me as a gift.  The cover of the journal says "Fabulously Conflicted". When I opened it, I discovered the very first journal entry which I'm humbly sharing very transparently in this blog entry. It was written a couple weeks after my daughter's surgery and brain trauma while I sat bedside, late at night with her at the rehabilitation hospital.  

I'm sharing this journal entry because it reveals, that I was at a tipping point in my life. You might find that you are at a similar tipping point in your life right now. I truly was "conflicted" and I can't say that it felt all that "fabulous".  It was interesting to me to reflect back and remember the emotions and feelings I was experiencing at that time and now realizing how much has changed. Five years later, I can say that while there is a lot about life that is still challenging from day to day, I am no longer "conflicted" about who I am and my purpose in life. That feels pretty fabulous! I share this with you to help you to see that if you are conflicted about your life, you have the power to change it. It's not easy. It takes time. It takes some soul searching. But it is possible.  

Journal entry 7/13/08:
Lost--Who is it I want to be? I've just turned 40. No party. No fanfare--nothing like I've expected and planned for this entire past year. I bought the shoes. I bought the dress. I argued with my husband about how much I deserved "the party" and now it doesn't matter! I quietly turned 40. What really matters most right now is that my precious 7-year old daughter is in a rehabilitation hospital fighting to recover from a brain injury that followed open heart surgery! My God! How humbling is that?

So I ask myself what do I do now? I have felt LOST for a long time. Caught up in corporate jobs. Not sure who I want to be. Dissatisfied with my marital relationship. Lost in my identity. Feeling I am destined to do more--not knowing what it is. Who am I and what is my purpose for being here?

Many people have been touched by my daughter's story. So what is the real lesson for me?

-Love More-Complain Less-Be Grateful-Enjoy Life's Simple Pleasures-Slow Down-Cherish the Moment-Have Faith

But now what do I do? How do I identify with this and what am I meant to do with this gift? Continue with the corporate job (as great as it may have seemed--and as talented as people believe I am)? Is it really what I want? Was it not meant to be? Is this a message to me that I need to move on? What if I could do something that would truly touch the lives of other people? Inspire. Motivate. Awaken. 

Who would have thought the Carepage detailing my daughter's healing journey could become inspiring and identifiable to so many people? What is the message I am receiving?-- Be transparent! Who do you love?--Tell them! Studies indicate that 84% of people are unhappy with their jobs. So what does this mean for me? What do I want to do that is satisfying that can earn a living? What makes me strong, special, and unique?

Can you relate to my journal entry? Do you feel conflicted about your life? I recently shared a vision-writing process, Vision Writing Part I and Vision Writing Part II,  that helped me to discover the answers to my questions.

I remember that moment so clearly. Fast forward five years and now I'm home with my children (no more corporate travel), running a health and wellness business and a charity that's affected children all over the world, and following my passion as a new author and motivational speaker. I will tell you that the transition has not been easy, but it has been so worth it!

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Fear of Growth

"Walker, there is no path, you make the path as you walk." ~ Antonio Machado

This blog post comes to you by "special request".  Is there such a thing as fear of growing? Or fear of success? I believe there is.  Maybe it's tied to our fears of whether we are worthy. Or maybe it's tied to our fears of whether we can handle the success and all that comes along with that. I was having this discussion with a friend just yesterday and it was suggested that perhaps this should be a topic I address in the blog. Coincidentally (or not), my morning devotional today addressed this topic! Or at least I interpreted it in such a way that it became relevant. One of my morning devotions comes from Mark Nepo's book The Book of Awakening.  This is the story he shared...

"I listened carefully as he described his little girl's first steps. He encouraged her to keep her eyes on him, and only when she didn't, did she stumble. Only when she lost her focus, when she became too conscious of the steps she was taking did she fall... He stared off, offering slowly, 'She made me realize that when I stop looking for a sense of truth, I stumble. When I lose my focus on what really matters, I fall." 

Here's the main idea. We are forever taking first steps...yes, forever taking first steps.

Nepo says:

"Isn't balance, in reality, the ability to step quite naturally, like this little girl, without too much thought into everything larger than our fear?"

I think that really says it all. When we put too much thought into something, and over-analyze it, fear takes over. Instead, it we could let go of the thinking and just stay focused on the truth, what really matters, growth will come naturally.

Mark Nepo always ends his devotions with a meditation exercise. He suggests that you sit and breath deeply and "without troubling yourself with 'how', step with your heart into the field of the growth you are seeking".

This is the part that made the most sense to me. Stop worrying about the "how" and just follow your heart! This may not be the blog about fear that was anticipated, but it was the message that was revealed to me today!

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Vision Writing Part II

Did you know that actor and comedian, Jim Carey, had actually written himself a check for $20 million and carried it around in his wallet, until he was eventually paid that sum of money for his performance in The Cable Guy. He visualized (and believed) that he was worth that amount of money. He was quoted as once saying, "It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?"

Yesterday's blog Vision Writing Part I, addressed taking inventory and spending some time soul searching to identify your authentic values and your natural gifts to come up with your life theme. Next, Richard Bliss Brooke suggests writing affirmations that will be incorporated into your vision statement. They are written in present tense and are positive statements. They can also be recited independent of the vision statement. When my daughter was healing from her brain trauma, we used affirmations at every stage of her healing. They were powerful for her and for us because it triggered the mind to know what was possible.  I can stand on my own two feet. I can walk on my own two feet. I can see with my own two eyes. 

Here are a few examples of Affirmations you might like:

I deserve happiness.
Life is abundant.
I attract whatever I need.
I am healthy and strong.

Photo Credit: www.blissbusiness.com

Then it's time to write the vision statement, the NEW film script for your life. The book, Mach II with Your Hair on Fire goes through a lot of great detail. I'm only going to cover a few highlights! (buy the book to dig deeper!) First is to focus on the positive. There is no sadness, fear, anger, envy, sickness, or playing it small! Instead of using words like "I'm 'debt' free" use phrases such as "I'm financially free." Second is to write in present tense, first person (I or we). Be very detailed and descriptive so as to evoke the emotion and the senses...what you see, hear, smell, feel. The emotional connection is the most important part!

So, I'm going to be bold and share some of my vision statement. It might not mean very much to you, but that's because it is personal to me and outcomes I deeply desire based on my values. It's a moment in future time (written in present tense) that I can feel deeply connected. This is how it starts:

"I am lying here on the beach at the “orange house” in Cabo, soaking up the sun and feeling my toes dig into the sand while watching Tim and the girls play in the ocean.  I am grateful to have our entire family, including mom and Dale back at our favorite, special place. I am blessed by a feeling of peace, abundance, and financial freedom. The shiny new Mercedes keychain glistens from within my bag and I notice the team photo charm keychain dangling beside it, a symbol of lives changed, hard work, strong faith, and memories that will last a lifetime. Ah… the joy I feel deep inside knowing the lives that have been changed. I am healthy and strong and full of energy! I close my eyes and smell the ocean breeze, hear the waves and seagulls overhead. I feel like pinching myself that this is my life, surrounded by family, faith, love, respect, freedom, health, and in contribution to others."

In my vision statement I continue with more detail about what actions I'm taking daily in my life that create the vision I'm living. This will help me stay focused daily on the "what" I need to do in order to "have" what I "want" in my vision.  This will help balance the feelings of skepticism that may arise with trying to make the mental connection to how I'm going to make the leap from where I am today to where I want to be.

Richard Bliss Brooke suggests reading this vision statement each day when you first wake up and before you go to bed. Remember, this is about replacing the movie reels that are already running through your head, of which might not be serving you. He even suggests creating your own audio and "listening" to it while you get ready in the morning or drive in your car. The idea is repitition. I can say from watching my daughter's healing experience, it works! It may take faith, love, and a fair amount of time. But it works!

“I can have anything I want - if I want it badly enough. I can be anything I want to be, do anything I set out to accomplish if I hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.” - Abraham Lincoln

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Vision Writing Part I

I'm not going to claim to be an expert at vision writing. In fact I'm pretty much a newbie, but I found a process I really like that I'm trying for myself. So I thought I would share and invite others to try it out along with me!  I've gone through some other exercises where I took inventory on my values and my talents. As a matter of fact while we were living the experience I wrote about in my book Miracle of Belief, I had a life-changing aha moment, based on a process I went through in a book called Key to Living the Law of Attraction. During that period of my life, I had a lot of late nights at the hospital with my daughter which turned into worthwhile time to reassess my life. It led to a major career and lifestyle transition for me and my family.

The recent book I've read, Mach II With Your Hair on Fire takes the reader through a similar process of taking inventory on your values and gifts, so that you can write a crystal-clear vision. You basically write a film script of a moment in your life when you are who you would love to be. I've just written mine and I'll eventually share some of it. But first there's some preparatory steps.

Photo credit: www.blissbusiness.com

I'm not going to share all the details, just the general concepts. I highly recommend buying the Mach II book and reading the whole story. Both of the books focus on the process of first doing a personal inventory. For some that are new to personal development, this can be extremely uncomfortable. It can also be very exhilarating and freeing!

The first step is to identify your authentic values. These are simply the aspects of life that you treasure. What do you love about life? What must be in your daily life?  There is a whole list of examples in the book. These are some of mine:  Family, Faith, Love, Contribution.

The next step is to consider your natural gifts or talents that are contributions to other people. If you don't think you have any, ask someone that knows you well and they'll immediately rattle off many of your talents! Sharing your God-given gifts is what fulfilling your purpose is all about! Discovering those gifts makes doing what you do a joy!  Again, there are examples in the book.  Here are a few of what I wrote down for myself: Inspiration, Organization, Speaking, Writing, Passion. For me, I'm just discovering some of my gifts, which has been the best part of being on a journey of transformation!

So then, given your values and gifts, what do you feel is the main theme of your life at its most powerful level?

Ponder on these ideas. Find a nice journal and sketch out some ideas. Believe it or not, I still have a beautiful journal of hand-written notes from my aha moment five years ago. It's kind of interesting to go back and look at what I wrote then and how much of it is consistent with who I've become since then.

In the next blog post I plan to share the writing of the actual vision! I believe it can be very powerful!

"We've got to have a dream if we are going to make a dream come true." ~Denis Waitley

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Who are You to Play Small?

Dealing with a summer cold today and a foggy brain...but still making time some time to work on my "vision". Here are some great inspirational passages to help you prepare for creating your vision.

"Our deepest fear it not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented or fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  

We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we inconspicuously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson ~ A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles (Random House, 1994)

"The world is full of abundance, achievement, influence, respect, love and health. It is there for the borrowing. All you have to do is envision yourself with it, and it will come." ~Richard Bliss Brooke, Mach II

"There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less." ~Kurt Hahn

Love and Prayers,
Sondra

Creating a Vision for Your Life

I recently created a new plan with goals, with deadlines and activities attached to them. I wrote about it in the recent blog Goal Setting in August.  I wrote goals and why they were important. And I created timeframes and activities. I just read an amazing book called Mach II With Your Hair on FIRE by Richard Bliss Brooke. The book focuses on crafting a new Vision for what you want your life to be, almost as though you are writing a film script with specific clarity, detail and the intent to create emotions. This book points out that our minds are constantly replaying "images" in our heads. Old movie reels of past events (often negative memories) that don't serve us. Or our minds are conjuring up images of future negative events based on worry or fear.  The premise of this book is that if you gain control of the "visions" in your mind of your future and create positive visions, your mind will believe them.

"The 'secret' to change and reinvention (really the secret to success) is that the most powerful part of YOU--the most powerful being on this planet--cannot tell the difference between a real experience (the truth) and an experience that has been vividly imagined.  When the most powerful collection of molecules in the universe cannot tell the difference between what we call The Truth and an Imagined Truth ... well then the Imagined Truth can become The Truth, which makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Photo credit: www.blissbusiness.com

I'm following the plan in the book that Richard lays out to create a powerful new "film script" for your life. I'll be sharing more about this over the next couple days as I create my own. I invite you to join me! The goal is to identify your Authentic Values, your Gifts and what you feel might be the Theme of Your Life. You write a story of what you want your life to become, in real-life technicolor!

"Success comes through us before it comes to us. Your greatest leverage to a new life is to shift who you are; your habits, your character traits, your beliefs about you and other people. You were not born with any of these 'qualities.' You adopted them and you can replace them at will any time you choose."

This goes hand in hand with my blog titled The Power Lies Within You.  I often refer to the expression "what you think about you bring about."  Isn't it true that we can become our own self-fulfilling prophesy, when we focus our energy thinking and worrying about all the things in our life we "don't" want. So, it only makes sense that we make some stuff up in our heads that could be a positive self-fulfilling prophesy. And what if...what if it comes true!


Love and Prayers,
Sondra